Mind over Matter - my battle with Tai Chi

Mind over Matter, originally uploaded by Paul-G.

I am one of the (seriously) least coordinated individuals without a physical disability you will meet. This is in part because I am inherently inflexible (physically), barely able to reach my knees, no less my toes, and in part because I am by nature highly impatient. I never learned to dance both because I was never agile enough to make it look good,and because I would give up on the moves quickly when they didn't come naturally or quickly. I frustrate easily -- which is why more solitary pursuits tend to suit me best.

A month ago we started, for the second time, a beginner's Tai Chi class. Both of us need the discipline of a regular exercise program, and we have seen in our friends the physical and mental benefits of a consistent Tai Chi practice. The first time around (about two years ago) I frustrated out after less than a month when, as with dance, I couldn't string the subtle, slow movements together quickly enough to suit myself. This time seems to be different, so far... we have a much more patient, intuitive, and helpful teacher. She is helping me to learn that the secrets of Tai Chi are not in your muscles, but in your brain. Learning to let go of your expectations, of rigid expectations of immediate success and gratification -- learning to relax and let it happen, has made an amazing difference. This morning, after four weeks I was able to come home and take myself through the 17 moves of the "starter set". Very satisfying, confidence building, relaxing and stimulating at the same time.

So wish me luck -- the full set we are learning is 102 consecutive, connected moves. Simplification of thought is the goal. Let the body learn and remember, and the ultimate benefits spread to every sector of your life... simple.

The (Un)Disciplined Life...

Simplicity is a discipline. Just like any other discipline it requires practice -- habituation in order for the lifestyle to take hold and become a natural part of who you are. Simple. Unless, like me you happen to be a naturally undisciplined person -- and that will sound totally foreign to many people who think they know me pretty well. The people I work with, for instance. People who are used to seeing me focus on a problem for hours -- to be among the first to arrive, eat lunch at my desk while continuing to work, and often work late into the night. But outside of the work environment..... well that's another story entirely.

I have a huge variety of interests -- some of you already know about that. I have this photography habit that can have me looking in the river grass for the stray raccoon looking for the stray snail or clam, while balanced on a rotting piece of wood at low tide, for instance. I have this music interest that causes me to search the unpopular racks at out of the way music shops for that off-beat CD, or sends me on 300 mile cross-state trips to perform with The Ashley Gang for a 30 minute set and no pay -- or at least not enough to cover the cost of gas. I have this technology thing going that keeps me in front of my iMac for hours working with digital images, answering emails, working on my photo site, checking out friends on MySpace or checking in with my nephew and nieces on Facebook. I have this reading thing that lands my nose in a James Madison or Thomas Jefferson biography, or a Richard Russo novel late into the night. I believe that learning is an eternal, ever present necessity. I like to hike -- need to hike -- and spend time in the wonder of natural, undeveloped Florida. I'm more of a loner than a people person, but family time, grandkid time, is essential. Then there's this writing thing -- and here I am. Doing one thing and always knowing that I could be doing something else -- always worried that I'm missing an opportunity. Mental hyperactivity. So what's the difference? Why can I manage the distractions at work, stay focused and keep on a strait line from start to finish there, but not here? This is my dilemma -- my simple living challenge. I've thought about it and come up with some basic ideas...

• At work I'm an "organizational captive" -- at home I'm not "captive"
• At work I have a limited (though large) focus -- at home the depth of field is unlimited
• At work I have a set of tools -- email, calendars and schedules, a team with a shared focus, incentives, a strong ethical obligation because of the nature of the work, a distraction-limiting environment (office)

So, my question is what of this set of circumstances can I translate from the in-office to the out-of-office environment, or in fact, should I? I think the answer is no -- certainly not all of it, but maybe some of it. Maybe one thing (at a time). With care not to confuse simplification with not doing things -- I have just about determined that the broad resolution to "simplify" is too complicated. Just pick one thing. I'm not willing to sacrifice my creativity to a simplicity pledge. But I am willing to cast out the unnecessary for the essential. To identify the time wasters and life wasters -- by employing a few of those work life tools to identify the waste (TV time for instance), remove it and keep it out.

New pledge:

• one hour per day max with intellectually stimulating content - no American idol.
  
• read twenty pages of something non-work related every day.
• Tai Ch'i class on Saturday mornings (when not on the road making music)
  

Hey -- it's a (re)start! -- simple.

New Year's Resolution

I am making a New Year's resolution this year. I am doing it here, in public -- so that perhaps I will be a bit more likely to fulfill this little "promise-to-self". It is a one-word resolution -- can't get much more basic than that. One word that has the potential to impact my life, and the lives of those around me in so many ways -- economically, ecologically, politically, physically, artistically, emotionally, spiritually.... One word. Simplify. For 2009 I want to simply, well, simplify. Easy, right? Not!

Voluntary simplicity is nothing new -- in fact I've been studying the philosophy for a number of years. Use less stuff, spend less, pollute less, unclutter your home, your office, your brain... reuse, recycle, relax. Man, do I wish I could relax. At this point in my life -- empty nest, good job, good health, you'd think that might not be so much of a problem. But holy moley is my life at the virtual border of "out of control". When you're 55 and still wondering what you're going to be when you grow up... When you're working 60 hours per week (at least I'm working)... When you always feel like you need to move on to the next thing in order to just keep pace with yourself... When you're doing photography and people seem to like it, but not enough to pay the bills, but you love it more than almost anything... When you realize that the happiest times of your life were when you were on stage performing your own songs, and you want to write more but can't find the time, when the band calls and you have to say no... When you feel guilty for all of the social engagements, gigs, photo safaris, and pleasure trips you have to turn down... Perhaps it's time to ease up, pick a few priorities, narrow the scope. Simplify. Think about what makes you happy and focus on that.   In my fantasy world that would be:

1. Photography
2. Music
3. Writing
4. Reading
5. Work           

In the real world, numbers 5 climbs to the top and the rest shift down one. Food on the table, need for lenses, bandwidth and all that, you see.                                                                                       

SIMPLIFY. A one word promise to myself. Life saving, I think. Sanity saving, certainly. There are plenty of other blogs dedicated to simplicity, uncluttering, Zen living -- and most, if not all written by and targeted to 20 or 30-somethings. Let's see how it goes for a 55+ over-committer.

 I'll let you know how it goes. Weekly updates. Promise.

Simple.